Friday, April 30, 2004

Russia's penis envy 

The first Russian museum of erotica, set to open soon in St Petersburg, will proudly put on the exhibit the pickled 30-cm (1 ft for the non-metric readers) long penis of the Mad Monk who unwittingly helped to bring down the Romanov empire, Grigory Rasputin.

The head of the museum boasts that "[h]aving this exhibit, we can stop envying America, where Napoleon Bonaparte’s penis is now kept. … Napoleon’s penis is but a small 'pod' it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimeters."

Sadly, these days this is one of the very few claims that Russia has to the status of a superpower. Surely now the United States has to answer this challenge - has anyone preserved John Holmes's appendage?

Then again, the size of Napoleon's weapon is surely a matter for France, not America. Alas, going by their recent international performance, the French might have trouble convincing anyone that they have balls larger than green peas.


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