Saturday, June 05, 2004
ROME (Agence Fraude-Presse) US President declared the liberation of Rome from Nazi occupation 60 years ago a "mistake" and vowed to invite the German Army to resume their positions north of the famous Gustav Line.Meanwhile, like loaves and fishes, the number of anti-Bush protesters in Rome just keeps multiplying. Police estimate the crowd at 25,000, the organisers at 150,000, while some reports put the figure at 500,000. Crowds are notoriously difficult to estimate - must be difficult to see through all that smoke of burning rubbish (even though the authorities made sure that "[t]he city center was cleared of thousands of trash cans and 600 garbage containers" they obviously haven't quite succeeded).
"I came here to celebrate our two nations' commitment to freedom, forged in blood six decades ago, but all I see is some freaks in masks setting fire to rubbish bins and chanting 'No Bush, no war'," President Bush told the gathered media after an hour-long private meeting with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. "Fuck that for a joke."
The spokesman for the German Defence Ministry said the Ministry had no immediate comments, but that President Bush's proposal would be given "all due consideration."
Regardless, those crowd estimates compare favourably with 300,000 Italians who came out on the streets of Rome in December 1999 to protest the brutal reign of Saddam Hussein. Just kidding.
P.S.: For the record, AP reports that "[m]any leaders of the centre-left opposition who strongly opposed the Iraq war have urged protesters to demonstrate peacefully and stressed their gratitude for the U.S.-role in liberating Italy." That's alright guys, I was only joking; you're not all bad. Iraq finally has a chance to become a normal, decent country, but no thanks to you - so go back to waving your rainbow flags.