Saturday, June 26, 2004

Enter stage left 

For the sheer amusement value you can't go past this report from the "New York Times":

"It could have been Oscar night, what with Billy Crystal cracking wise about movies and politics, money and baseball — just like the old days when the Academy Awards ceremony was held across the street at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. But when Mr. Crystal tried a joke about former President Clinton's forthcoming children's book - 'It's called the Little Engine That Could Because It Could' - it fell flat."
Ah, the perils of the bi-partisan humour at a major Democratic fundraiser (Bush, unlike the Democrats, is at least able to have a laugh at his own expense from time to time).

2000 Hollywoodians have paid between $2,000 and $25,000 to attend the dinner, helping the raise $5 million for John Kerry.

More from Billy Crystal:

"[H]e recalled having met President Bush at Yankee Stadium during the third game of the World Series in 2001 and realizing, '9-1-1 is also his SAT scores.' Or when he described him as 'charming in that NASCAR-pull-my-finger-kind-of-way' and, invoking the 'Godfather' trilogy, mused, 'I get the feeling he is the Fredo of the Bush family'."
It got worse:

"The much-heralded highlight was the reunion duet of Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond, 'You Don't Bring Me Flowers,' which they had not performed together since Jimmy Carter was in the White House."
For good reason, I would have thought. Ms Streisand (who, you will be surprised to learn "entered and exited from stage left")further enchanted the guests with her new rendition of the classic "People":

"Now Rumsfeld / We must get rid of Rumsfeld / He's the spookiest person in the world / ...Let's discuss this war we're lost in / Don't ask what it's costin' / What's a trillion or two to rule the world?"
And then this:

"Ben Affleck, who grew up in Massachusetts, Mr. Kerry's home state, declared, 'I know the man.' Leonardo DiCaprio called him 'a lifelong champion of the environment.' And Mr. Crystal, invoking the Vietnam War, said, 'John Kerry was an actual action hero'."
Who needs a parody when the real thing is so funny.

In other entertainment news, a right-wing film festival is being planned for September 11 this year in Dallas. The American Film Renaissance promises to screen anti-Michael Moore documentaries as well as "other movies well to the right of Moore's films."


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