Tuesday, September 07, 2004

It's a mad, mad Tuesday 

Michael Moore will not be entering "Fahrenheit 911" into the Oscar competition for Best Documentary. He's going for the Best Picture Oscar instead. It would be too much to hope that this is a belated recognition of the fictional nature of the film.

Meanwhile, John Kerry, who very recently used a wheelchair-bound, triple amputee to
deliver his letters, has in a new sign of desperation kept a patient about to undergo a quadruple heart by-pass on the phone for 90 minutes. Cheeseburgers and extra fries will not kill Bill Clinton, but John Kerry just might.

And -
we were here first:

"Anthropologists stepped into a hornets' nest on Monday, revealing research that suggests the original inhabitants of America may in fact have come from what is now known as Australia. The claim will be extremely unwelcome to today's native Americans who came overland from Siberia and say they were there first.

"But Silvia Gonzalez from John Moores University in Liverpool said skeletal evidence pointed strongly to this unpalatable truth and hinted that recovered DNA would corroborate it... She said there was very strong evidence that the first migration came from Australia via Japan and Polynesia and down the Pacific Coast of America."
Far from Australia being the fifty first state of the United States, as left-wing critics are claiming, it's America which is the seventh state of Australia.


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