Friday, October 15, 2004
Kerry wins the toilet poll in Iraq:
"Amid the decorum of the military, some of the most incisive political debate transpires by the toilet.What more can one add?
"On an airbase in western Iraq, Kerry was set to rout Bush in the November 2 elections after the Massachusetts senator picked up 73 votes to 58 on the bathroom wall.
"However, the vote has come in for criticism amid suspicions Kerry supporters voted more than once due to the identical hashmarks on his side of the column inside the foul, humid brown and green plastic stalls, known as 'Port-a-Johns'.
"The bathroom wall vents a surprising amount of anger over Bush. Much of the bile is dedicated to denigrating Bush's home state of Texas, the land of cowboys and toughness that has come to define his wartime presidency.
"One diatribe says: 'The only thing Bush cares about is a good fight to make a name for himself. If you think he really cares about us you're out of your ... mind. If you really believe 9/11 is related to Iraq then you're just as delusional as the hippie that thinks there will ever be world peace. You're not fighting for America. You're fighting for ... politics. End of story Cinderella.'
"With many voters confused about who to choose, a latrine wall write-in campaign offered some alternatives. Heavy Metal gods Slayer and Rob Zombie received 11th-hour nominations from the men in uniform to run for the White House."