Thursday, March 17, 2005

When Jews attack 

Updated: Scroll down.

Won't the left and the Islamofascists around the world have fun with this one: a Jeeeewwww in charge of the World Bank. And not just any Jeeeewwww, but a neo-con. There will be plenty of material to work with, like this: "Senior Israeli officials reacted with satisfaction... to news..." etc. And with Wolfowitz replacing Wolfensohn, who will be the first one to make a crack that only wolves need to apply?

David Corn, of the totalitarian cheerleader "Nation", is already getting into the spirit of things:
"Wolfowitz To Rule the World (Bank)". Corn surely also gets a prize for the first obligatory Vietnam War parallel:

"In 1967, Robert McNamara, the captain of the Vietnam tragedy, left his post as secretary of defense to become president of the World Bank. So Bush is establishing a bipartisan tradition: you screw up a war, you get to run the World Bank."
Mind you, he might share that prize (a custom-made quagmire for one) with the "Guardian" blog, which also dredges up McNamara, but also wonders why Wolfowitz would want to give up "being No 2 at one of the world's most powerful organisations, the Pentagon" to become a World Bank president. Beats me, maybe the Pentagon is not that powerful after all? Anyway, I'm sure it's a cunning Jewish plot. But it's the hysterics of the "Guardian" readers that make for a truly rewarding reading:

"This is disastrous news. Wolfowitz is a member of the Project for a New American Century, whose sole aim is to form a new American Empire to take over the world and dominate it via military might the way Rome once did. Trouble is, didn't these guys ever read their history books? Don't they know that no Empire ever made survived for any length of time?"
Most of them, though, last for a few centuries. Come the barbarians around 2500AD; in the meantime I'll settle for five centuries of Pax Americana.

"Will the public wake up in time and do something to rid us of these tyrants?"
Maybe at the next democratic election in 2008?

"Now, how long until Bush nominates Ashcroft for the U.S. Supreme Court?"
Thanks for a good idea. That's why the neocon conspiracy maintains the "Ideas Box" at the "Guardian" front desk.

"It is entirely appropriate to be not only appalled, but afraid, as these 21st century Nazis consolidate power within the framework of corporate globalization. Very similar to the rise of the third reich with a very similar cast."
Lest we forget those dark days when Hitler was nominating Jews for the directorship of the Reichsbank.

To be fair, there are many voices of reason among the "Guardian" readers:

"Hey, this is really good news for us in the corrupt 3rd world and we cannot understand the rantings of lefties who proclaim very self-righteously that their sympathies are with us and not with their failed policy approaches defined by closet sefishness, and more likely terrorist symptheisers' funds...

"People, People: Take out your paper bags, place them over your heads, and breathe deeply. He's not that bad--unless you're a hysteric, a Lefty, or a Third World kleptocrat...

"On the other hand, it looks as if Wolfowitz was right about the tyrants of the Middle East. Maybe he can apply the same reasoning at the World Bank and use its influence to help those who must endure the misery of life in places such as Syria and Iran...

"everyone! run for the hills...!!! there is a 50-foot Wolfowitz headed this way, breathing flames through his nostrils...! jeez, people, i'm sure reality is a little more nuanced than your 'here comes the monster' rantings...! keep calling our leaders monsters and see where that gets you... You want the u.s. to withdraw from all of these institutions? just keep putting clare short on tv... it looks to most americans like we are not welcome in these institutions... the u.s. president is a right wing conservative - get over it! we americans get over lots of leftist european leaders..."
"The Attack of a 50-foot Jew", screening soon at the Ramallah Multiplex.

Update: Spare a thought for the poor, confused Europeans. "We were led to believe that the neo-conservatives were losing ground, but clearly the revolution is alive and well," says Michael Cox, a professor of international relations at the London School of Economics. Led to believe by the same media which was saying that the war was lost. The German development minister, Heidemarie Wieczorek-Zeul, meanwhile, opines that "the enthusiasm in old Europe is not exactly overwhelming." It's nice to see that what was once considered to be an impolite and undiplomatic term has now been so widely accepted by its targets. You might, however, be pushing your luck if you're expecting the French foreign minister to say anytime soon, "We, cheese-eating surrender monkeys remain skeptical of Mr Wolfowitz's credentials."

American experts are
hardly more enthusiastic. "If the Bush administration wanted to poke a finger into the eye of every nation on Earth, it couldn't have made a better choice," says John Cavanagh, director of the Institute for Policy Studies. And Jeffrey Sachs, the man who gave the Eastern Europe its shock therapy, argues that "we need someone with professional experience in helping people to escape from poverty. Mr. Wolfowitz does not have that track record. We need other nominees." There is always a temptation to think that people like Professor Sachs means himself. Still, liberating people from under tyranny is not a bad start in helping people escape poverty. Besides, Milton Friedman might be too old. Although Hernando DeSoto would not have been a bad choice either.


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